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So frustrated with myself. I’ve been sticking to the right foods but over eating / binging for about a month. Worse, I’ve been cheating with my log by carrying foods eaten over to future days simply so it doesn’t look like I’ve been over eating. It’s got completely out of hand as I’m up to a month ahead now. So, enough is enough. I’ve cleared the log down so I can start with a clean slate tomorrow.
I need your help guys... why, after a year am I now self sabotaging!? I’m getting massive support from my partner so it’s not being critiqued negatively. I am missing the support and monitoring of my diabetes nurse though.
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73.6 kg
Lost so far: 54.4 kg.
Still to go: 13.6 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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View Diet Calendar, 18 September 2020:
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1651 kcal
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Fat: 85.75g | Prot: 60.64g | Carbs: 150.51g.
Breakfast: Corned Beef, Bananas , Parsley Box Lamb Hot Pot, Waitrose Chorizo. Lunch: Graze Chocolate Hazelnut Wow Bake, Coca-Cola Diet Coca-Cola (Can), Sainsbury's Red Onions, Tesco Cucumber, Tomatoes, Lettuce, Mayonnaise , Sliced Ham (Extra Lean) , Wheatfield Bakery Brown Seeded Baguette. Dinner: M&S Greek Feta & Olive Side Salad. Snacks/Other: Waitrose Peppermint Flavoured Dark Chocolate with Sugar Crystals, Graze Belgian Speculoos, Propercorn Smooth Peanut & Almond. more...
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Gaining 3.0 kg a Week
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 Comments
Well done. I was up to 56kg loss over the past year and a bit. Old patterns of self harm have crept back this past month. I have to go cold turkey again from today, being on the strictest version of my eating plan
19 Sep 20 by member: Orbilia
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You’re doing really well, don’t lose faith in yourself 👍🏼 yes, you’ve had slight hiccup but you’ve realised what you’re doing and have rectified it...I too have had times when it’s a struggle, eating crappy food, but I think we all do it...start again, maybe don’t be too strict on yourself, why not have one day where you can eat few more calories and have a treat?...then eat good for the rest of week 😊
19 Sep 20 by member: SarahH1821
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Thanks for the support Sarah.
I have to be strict at the beginning of my reset in order to re-establish good habits. I also want to lose the kilos I put back on fairly soon in order to re motivate myself.
19 Sep 20 by member: Orbilia
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Firstly, well done! You’ve owned up and decided to make a positive change 😊 that takes strength 💪🥳. It sounds like you do need the support of someone other than your partner, to talk about what’s really happening. Have you thought about counselling? I know it’s a bit taboo in the U.K. but honestly, everyone needs someone to talk to. Here is a good platform too of course 😊
19 Sep 20 by member: Nutricali
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Thanks for your support.
I’m a fan of counselling having had CBT for depression. My diabetes nurse was about to refer me to the in-house psychiatrist at my GP’s when Covid struck. I’ve been missing my nurse’s support and monitoring; I do better when I know someone’s monitoring me.
19 Sep 20 by member: Orbilia
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You are doing a good job, it's not easy to lose so much weight!! Have you tried maybe doing more exercise? It seems you're craving bigger portions so maybe if you compensate with exercise you'll be able to eat a few more calories each day?
19 Sep 20 by member: sritaanonima
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It doesn't matter how u fall,,it's how u pick urself back up!! Try looking up Alison courses online, there are neuro linguistic programming, retrain ur brain and mental health courses there. I also use the Insight Timer app which has courses, meditations, self hypnosis, relaxing music and talks on reversing negative thinking. There is also a cool wee app on Google Play called 'woebot' it can be very useful for pin pointing ur triggers and lifting u up. I hope u find something that helps and that ur feeling a little better today ♥️
19 Sep 20 by member: Bootylicious1!
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Give your doctor a call and see what they can set in motion🤞for you. Booty’s recommendations are also fantastic! I’ll be borrowing those too 😊
19 Sep 20 by member: Nutricali
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Look how far you’ve come don’t give up on yourself !!!
19 Sep 20 by member: jnuko
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can I ask who are you cheating when you change your logs?
keep in mind you are the most important person in this journey no one else matters your rise or fall is only urs to decide
I think everyone one here has a personal goal not measured by anyone else
be proud your doing this that your aware and want to get to a point of living the life you want
my diet is now after two years of not smoking and it's been bloody hard work now a diet another mountain so climb cause I'll be right behind you x
19 Sep 20 by member: clare6969
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It’s nothing to do with craving bigger portions. I’ve been binge eating- I self harm using food.
I’m cheating my life... I was diagnosed type 2 diabetes a little over a year ago. Losing weight and eating low carb has put me in remission for about 9 months now. That’s one metric I do t want to reverse!
Thanks for the online therapy tip!
19 Sep 20 by member: Orbilia
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Don't be so hard on yourself. You lost so much weight, it's incredible. Just start from fresh tomorrow, you can do it.
19 Sep 20 by member: maddamee
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Just tried woebot, Booty. It’s really cool. Great way to remind me what my CBT therapist taught
19 Sep 20 by member: Orbilia
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I find that self sabotage can be related to things happening in your life. could there been anything that could be triggering binge eating?
19 Sep 20 by member: Belial87
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That’s true Belial. I’ve been asking myself that. Oddly, most things are going better than normal atm.
19 Sep 20 by member: Orbilia
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Just had my second Woebot session. I’m pleasantly surprised by this bot 😀
20 Sep 20 by member: Orbilia
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