phsmalls's Journal

Things here are good... well kind of good..

Yesterday I was woke up at 5:30, and not by my dog, or my niece. No instead it was this weird sharp pain (kind of like a Charlie horse) in my shoulder/upper back/neck region. I somehow managed to pull/kink a muscle or muscles in my sleep. Now I am not a crazy roll around the bed and tie myself in knots kind of sleeper, once I am asleep I stay pretty much in the same spot the entire night, so I am completely at a loss for how this happened, but I am hoping it was something cool, like an alien tried to abduct me and I fought back and won or something like that.

The aftermath of said injury is way less cool than my imaginary fight with goblins, or aliens or anything though.

Today is a bit better, I have been told to go see a massage therapist but when a 6 year old can almost make you pass out due to the pain I think I should wait a couple more days lol. I have done a few basic yoga stretches and it is looser - a lot looser than it was yesterday. I can lift my arm up higher today and can turn my head a bit more so driving is way less entertaining.

Uh.. lets se thats about it.. No Zumba/Yoga Thursday as there is a swim meet that needs the room. I could go to a different class for Zumba, but I can also do it in my own home.. so I will be doing that.. and going for Sushi with my bestie, we haven't been in months so it should be good.

Other than that food is on track, exercise is a bit shitty but thats kind of life and until I get all healed thats where it will be...

Ok so update... lets see so much happening to me - not so much in the WL department but personal life.

So lets start with today.

Today while walking to my truck my knee/hip gave out and I went splat in the middle of my lawn (thankfully it wasn't the cement drive way), my lunch fell out of my bag and went everywhere - it was majorly embarassing, and I think one of my neighbors saw - not that they checked on me to make sure I was ok though. My knee is very achey. To add to it I banged it off of my desk too so its super painful.

My body has been popping and locking like crazy - and not the cool kind that makes you look like a robot, but the painful kind that makes me sound like I need oil and I almost cry. This is why I hate this time of year.

I recently got an new manager at my job. I was actually pretty upset by the whole thing as I really like my manager that was here when I started but he had an awful lot of crap on his plate. Well yesterday I found out the new manager quit.. so now I have no idea what is happening.

And while I am on the work front.. I need to tell someone and you people are seriously my closest friends and i know you will not make a huge effing deal out of this.. well you might but shh please, I do not need this getting out all over the place lol.

So as you all know I have a mild... ok so maybe not too mild but extreme crush on my old/possibly still manager - like stupid huge (he is fun to look at sue me). He is married (or was) with a son, and would NEVER EVER become THAT person. As I have too many morals to be the person someone cheats with. Said managers cousin talks to me a lot... and by a lot.. I mean I know personal things that I should not know - like manager and his wife fight a lot and manger lies about things to save the fight - mostly video games and smoking. Well when these 2 people met she knew this about him, she married him while he was a gamer and a smoker and a couple months after they were married she made him stop - sold his console and told him to quit smoking or she would divorce him. So... he quit.

When I heard this I looked at the cousin and said "you are joking right???" and he goes nope I am not. I said uhh but he smokes, I saw him doing it the other day, how does he hide that from her. There was a big long story to go with it - basically he keeps a change of clothes at his cousins and showers and changes there before he gets home (they work seperate shifts), he also have a video game console that he hides so when he is on his days off he can play with out her knowing. I kind of shook my head and said "so.. uh why is he staying in that kind of marriage?" His cousin had no idea but we both agreed it was not a good situation.

Fast forward to last week, the wife has given notice that she is quitting... and boss man is happy - like super happy, the happiest I have seen him since we met 5 years ago. He and I have an odd working relationship and yesterday he walks into the office, stops, looks at me starts laughing and goes... for godsake go buy new clothes yours are too big. I looked at him and said I am poor give me a raise and I'll think about it. He said I can arrange that if you are serious. I said dead serious.. he walked out of the office and left it at that.. a while later he comes in and goes "thanks." I was confused so I asked what and he goes "for making me wake up - my cousin told me what you said and it really made me think..." and I said " you are NOT getting a divorce because of me are you? because that was NOT my intention at all, I just think if a person is unhappy they need to fix the issue." and he goes "well we are seperating and things are better. so thank you." I feel horrible about the whole thing, I never ever once dreamed that it would get back to him. There are/were a lot of other issues in their marriage and she was not crazy about me working directly with him and got super jealous and shit because she was told that eventually him and I will be going on work trips to our other facility, and possibly training. IDK its all very twisted and some how I got involved with out trying.

so needless to say I feel like I destroyed a family, my manager is super weird and keeps flirting with me.. and its all really messed up.

SOrry its long - cant blog about this and don't really have anyone to talk to about it...

First here is my Newest tattoo. You do not have to read the post, just scroll to the bottom. I would just post the pics here but I am really lazy today. The pictures are not awesome but it does give you the idea, it is not finished, I still have 3 hours to go before it is done but I do love her very much.

Secondly I have learned something new. I made the switch to low carb a while ago - simply because it was a better choice for me, BUT I have recently learned that because I have hypothyroidism I can be extremely carb sensitive. I did some research and have talked to my Dr. and he said he didn't even think of it because most people don't have an issue, so he has encouraged me to continue doing what I am doing and see where it gets me. Most days I am at 100g total for carbs and if you look at my net carbs I average between 50 - 75 depending on the day, so I think I am doing pretty good. Not expecting the weight to "fall off" but movement in the downward general direction is appreciated.

That is really all I have for now.

Ok a bit over due for an update here... I am still in the process of adding ppl back -its slow because this site is horrible for searching for ppl.

BUT here is my update.
This past weekend was Thanksgiving weekend, and if you remember last year it was a horrible weekend one in which I started gaining weight that i had already lost and then it was a horrible slide to back to the beginning. Now this past weekend was good. I ate, I enjoyed, I had Pie AND cheese cake AND other delicious desserts, as well as Turkey, and ham, and home made buns, and fruit, and veggies, and potatoes (god I love potatoes).... I ate like this twice, so I expected horrible results when I stepped on the scale come Wed (which is my new weekly weigh in). I was determined to not let the results bother me because I am only recording any loss, AND I didn't track or plan or anything on the weekend. So a gain was much expected. Come Wednesday I stepped on the scale closed my eyes, said a small prayer, opened my eyes, looked down and BAM 205 EVEN... that was a .2 loss after a long weekend filled with food and no planning. Add to that that TOM decided to pop up early (by a week) with out any signs, there might have been signs that I missed because I have been sick and not exactly paying attention. I did a dance, and not a little one, a rather big one naked in my bathroom - it was a horrible site and I am glad I was alone had anyone witnessed it they may have ran screaming from the room or fallen over dead.

Food wise, I am back on track completely. Been staying within 1440 calories a day, actually I am under that most days. 1440 is my non-exercise day calories and this week is full of non-exercise. Today, I am having fast food for lunch - this will be the first fast food meal, just a soft taco and mexi fries, because I will be leaving here grabbing food and then going for my tattoo. No worries tho, I planned it and will be within my calorie/carb limit and I will be able to have dinner tonight!

This is how my week has looked so far:

Monday was Thanksgiving day, Tuesday I had to get my room in some kind of order, Yeserday Was supposed to be swimming but my niece hurt herself and can't go swimming due to risk of infection. It is nothing major but she does have a large road rash type ouch on her leg and the pool and its germs are just to risky. So we made paper mache pumpkins instead - they may be full of fail when they are done (they are still drying) but we had fun doing it. Today is tattoo day (YAYYYYY), And tomorrow is friday and no time for the gym, saturday is to go sign paperwork for our line of credit for a down payment on a house (once we find one) and THEN.... We start looking for a house, I already found one I want to look at - 2 blocks from Harley's school so it would be perfect. 3 bedrooms on the main floor, and a basement suite, 2 seperate water heaters and a nice sized yard.. so hopefully it is still available.

I think that is all I have, I will post pics of the tattoo tomorrow when the bandages come off!

I hope you are all having a wonderful week, I have been reading all your updates but have not had time to comment on them.

Thanksgiving weekend, a loss ... yeah thats a win