ecm2008's Journal

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16 April 2008

2nd day of getting up and getting my bootie on the treadmill. Then I did some sit ups and some arm/back exercises. This is my pat on my back. I need to focus on this today, and focus that I am doing it and remind myself that it is going to come off slowly, and the belly roll will come off--just not overnight. I saw a picture of myself from Sunday yesterday, and it would also be nice to have one chin again. But those kinds of thoughts just get me down. That's what I want--just to be able to have my picture taken and not worry about it being crappy and/or look at it and have it put a smile on my face, not make my stomach drop and make me think how far I have to go. So I already got myself one step closer. I need to find a good picture of me and hang it up and focus on that.

I need to get the 8 kernels of smartfood and 1 triscuit--oh and one junior mint that I ate yesterday off my chest. So now it's off.

OK. Onward with a good day. Onward to ace my interview...

(2 comments)

14 April 2008

There has to be an easier way to enter my food into the diet calendar. That thing is motivation enough to never eat again!! It took me 30 minutes to put in my meals of the day, and I just remembered I forgot something...two things. There has to be an easier way!!

I went for a walk today, I did some tummy exercises, and I ate really well. Poco a poco...as they say!

And according to the weight history graph I am losing "10 pounds a week" which is a load of hooey...I don't know what that story is. Maybe it's my sporadic weigh ins. I'm trying to figure this all out...

(5 comments)

14 April 2008

Awwwww yeeeeahhhh!!! One sixties, baby!! Yesterday I said to my sis, "If I could just break into the 160s I'd feel like I was in a better zone and would get more motivated." Well, got on the scale today after being HONEST for two days about what I put in my trap and THERE IT WAS. A little positive shove in the right direction. So I am going to cross off my list of things to do today, exercise, and then figure out the food and exercise calendar. Down we go, down we go!! A good--no great start to my week!!

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
76.7 kg	2.7 kg	10.9 kg	Reasonably Well

(3 comments) Losing 4.8 kg a Week

13 April 2008

Today I had a chat with sis and I think that will help me keep myself honest. I am going to try to--I need to figure out how to enter my food on this site in an effort to be honest with myself. I am trying to watch my portions and realize what I am putting in my mouth. In talking to MM I realize that I am have been pretending and lying to myself when I think I can just sort of eat sort of healthy and not be active and the weight will drop off. When I was at my "thinnest" before, as I was thinking about today, I was going to curves, swimming, walking, eating sb, and working. Now I can't be bothered to leave the house half the time. That is not ok. And eating veggies is not going drop 20, no 30 pounds that I need to lose. So talking about it hopefully will help and reading more entries and figuring out how this site works will hopefully help. I think about how I felt after my interview on Friday--just confident and secure and excited about the future, and it's those times that I just think, "That is who I am, this body does not represent the ECM that's inside." And then I get frustrated because I have been "cheating" or eating like a fat kid or not excercising and I just think why why why why couldn't you have had some will power, and then I feel like a fatty and go get something to eat. That trend is DONE. I think I have reached a level in this job search thing, in this post pc readjustment thing, that instead of a challenge sending me downward, I will go the other way, and a challenge will make me go forward. Today I guess I realized something has to give, because whatever I have been doing is not working. That's confirmed. So why not try something different, admit to myself that I am over weight, that I don't like to be in this body, and I don't like how it makes me feel and think and spiral down, how it makes me go glass-half-empty about certain things when I am the biggest glass-half-full girl ever. I just want a little improvement. I want to break into the 160's, or to see some of the belly roll go down. Or to have my pants feel a little bit looser. So I will be honest with myself this week and write all of my food down, and just get more active. And I know once I start I'll feel better. I don't want another event to pass by that I said, "I'll be 'skinny' for that." only to still be--well, not skinny. I am ready to take "lose weight" off my list of things to do. You'd think I would have crossed it off after 15 years. I just want to be done with worrying about it so I can focus on the good and the great that is in my life, which is a lot.

(2 comments)

12 April 2008

so today was good--food wise and just being outside made me feel slightly active and that the fresh air is what i need and sunshine to get myself motivated. I feel good about today--better than at the start. Time for a cup of tea and a ricotta dessert. I can do it.

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