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Confessions of a frumpy housewife part two- the shopping experience
I have never really enjoyed shopping, and shopping as a heavy person is even more daunting. I was just glad that I was not attempting to buy jeans. I woke up determined to leave my frumpy housewife image in the dust and that would require shopping. I had originally planned to go after I had lost a bit more weight but yesterday’s disaster was a wake up call. Today would be the day.
The hardest past was trying to figure out what size I had become. My goal was to purchase two sweat/gym clothes outfits. These outfits would be replacing 13 years worth of old stained sweat clothes. I would be starting fresh.
I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I was a large and not an extra large. The joy of this discovery was short lived because there in that dressing room I saw my reflection. I was everywhere. Reflected from almost every angle was the evidence of what I had become. I do not know why stores feel that they have to have wall to wall mirrors in dressing rooms but I do know that for me it was a very traumatic experience.
I forced myself to look. There I was, pasty, white and dimpled. The back side was the worst. My rear looked like a giant piece of dough that has been battered and kicked. The saddest part is that my back and my behind had actually melded together into one large piece of flesh. There was no curve at the small of the back to separate the two. My back had grown rolls big enough to fill my hands. My body was a train wreck and here in this small dressing room it was a train wreck magnified.
I feel terribly guilty admitting these truths, it is painful. I understand that the average woman does not look like a Victoria Secret model. I understand that people come in all shapes and sizes and that we are all in our own right beautiful. I believe with my whole heart that I am a beautiful woman. The body in my reflection, the body that is attached to my beautiful soul, is NOT beautiful to me. The beauty to me is in knowing that it is mine to change.
After getting past the hurdle of my reflection I began trying on clothes. A good deal of work out clothes are very form fitting. This was both an asset and a hindrance. In my quest to leave frumpy behind I wanted to show of some curves but I did not want to trade frumpy for lumpy. Many of the clothes I tried did accentuate curves, the wrong ones. I tried on clothes that were too tight, too baggy, this one fits here but not there, and did I just see camel toe!!!!!!!! KILL ME KNOW!!
I managed to leave the store with two outfits, one that fit just right, and one that would fit just right in a week or two. I left the store feeling happy, motivated and ready to leave frumpy behind. My next task will be cleaning out the closet.
New rule for the new me: I will not leave the house wearing anything frumpy EVER AGAIN.
View Diet Calendar, 23 January 2010:
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1121 kcal
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Fat: 39.78g | Prot: 75.18g | Carbs: 32.76g.
Breakfast: Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Lean Ground Beef 93/7, Asparagus, Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Original Powder Creamer. Lunch: chicken breast. Dinner: Original Powder Creamer, Asparagus, Lean Ground Beef 93/7, Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Snacks/Other: Cabernet Sauvignon Wine. more...
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2131 kcal
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Exercise:
Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 1 hour, Resting - 15 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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