RavenCaps's Journal, 12 Jan 16

I see you've had anorexia. At 115 lbs, running 8-10 miles a day, and weight room work outs. Could it be that it has become a problem again? Did you get counseling or support for anorexia? Is there someone you can talk to?  

I've never stopped dealing with the anorexia. I've been sent to counselors, therapists, and a few hospitals that are for eating disorders.. but they didn't really help. I feel as though the anorexia has, in a way, made me stronger. There's people that I can talk to on the internet. I can't talk to my friends or family about it because they don't understand.  

I'm sorry. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. PLEASE take care of yourself! 

I just try to block out everything. And I'll take care of myself. Thank you so much. 

RavenCaps...My first post so my apologies if I am doing something wrong. You don't need that much exercise to lose the weight. It is about what you eat and how much. Fasting is also not good training for your body. You need to get your body into rhythm. There is a good book to read by Dr. Marks called Wheat Belly, he does an excellent job of explaining the science of eating. You can get it at the library I am sure.  

Just one more thing- I am MUCH older than you and it has taken me a long time to figure out "blocking everything out" doesn't work. It always catches up to you. Ok, lecture over! 

Yeah, I understand. I've been watching what I eat.. view my diet/ food intake calendar. I run a lot because I'm training for cross country, but it doubles as a way to burn plenty of calories.  

#1 Be KIND to yourself. You are not your weight, you are a beautiful lady doing your best.  

It can catch up to you. Heh. "blocking everything out" is easier said than done.  

Thank you so much, FloridaAngel.  

please please please be nice to yourself! fasting is not healthy and you already are at a dangerous weight. Try to eat only healthy things- maybe that will help your body become stronger. If being fat is the worst thing for you then maybe you should reevaluate how you feel on the inside. counseling only works if you open yourself up to letting it work. 

I do eat healthy. Fruit, vegetables, almonds.. I always put what I eat into my food intake calendar on here. I do tend to open up in counseling, but that can be a dangerous thing. I don't want to be body slammed back into a hospital or anything. It would be nice if I could just talk to someone about it without the fear that they'll pull the alarm on me. You know?  

Have you looked on Reddit? there is a GREAT COMMUNITY there- they even have an eating disorder subreddit. I bet people on there would be more equipped to help you. Here is a link <3 https://www.reddit.com/r/EatingDisorders/ Whenever i have reached out for help, someone has ALWAYS stepped up 

I've never been on Reddit. Thank you for the link. I'll check it out sometime <3