Candkforme's Journal, 03 Jun 21

First and foremost, terrific job! Losing 20% IS a major accomplishment of which you should be rightly proud. Nicely done. Second, you are not alone. Literally everyone on this site who has made a similar transformation has these stories. Unfortunately, many involve spouses, relatives, and close "friends" going far beyond an insensitive comment and actively undermining. My personal favorites are a close friend and relative who said "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight. I hope it was intentional." Like what, asshole, you hope I don't have cancer? How passive aggressive is that!? And my Ex, who when she realized I was getting in shape, started popping up unannounced with a quart of Mulligatawny, arguably one of the most delicious, addictive, and calorically dense foods on earth. Which brings us to my final point. As others point out, we are certainly justified in being annoyed and can rationalize a hostile response. At the time, I was certainly pissed. In retrospect, though, having read so so many similar and much worse stories, I have come to believe that this is just human nature. These are not bad people, they're just people. Crabs in a bucket, doing their level best to pull you back down with them. In fact, finding humans who DO NOT behave in this manner is what would be exceptional. And that's what I did. None of these people are in my life in any meaningful way at this point. The people who are in my life are positive and share values. Others, including "family," can keep it moving. Leveling up is a selfish endeavor. Not everyone will come along with you for the ride. Do you and good luck! 

Crabs in a bucket! I’m gonna remember that one. It’s hard to ignore the idiots sometimes. Yay for you CandK. Your progress is significant.  

Girl! I am so jealous! You have lost so much weight and I am sure you have worked very hard at it! I know that everybody is telling you this but I guess it is good to hear it over and over again. That person that told you that is envious of your success and discipline. Not everybody will work hard and be determined to keep loosing weight. You are AWESOME and don't let anybody else tell you otherwise. I would add Don't care what others think of you. The only opinion that matters is yours. Keep the good work!!!!  

36 lbs is a great accomplishment! You should be very proud of yourself regardless of what anyone says! Anyone who said things like that to me would get a giant smile while I say "Bless your heart" and then toss them out of my life. Just imagine how much lighter you'd feel without those comments in your life!  

An ear in and out of another. Smile and walk away. That’s what I did for the longest time. They don’t know you and what you’d been through. You focus on yourself and move forward. Life is beautiful ☺️ 

Jealousy...The person is jealous of you. Just keep going and ignore them. I know it's hard, but you've got to remind yourself that you are doing this for yourself and not for what others think. 

That's great! Honestly though I would think that when I had gained so much weight before, I had noticed my clothes fall in off or becoming baggy from where my body had stretched. I have a thing where I hate shopping for clothes. I am very insecure on how I look in clothes. So I am always on the hunt for long baggy shirts to cover my hangy belly. I can never find pants that fits just right. I always have an issue with those. My jeans are always falling off and I know I hadn't lost the weight. Sometimes I will find clothes that are too baggy in the pants and too tight around my waist. 

they prob think it's some sort of back handed compliment... sorry they suck!! keep kicking butt 

Organized Chaos, I just love that, “bless your heart”. Absolutely fitting.  

Lose these people and replace with better ones. Sometimes weight isn’t the only thing you need to shed. 

Tassos' comment was interesting to me because it's true. The most annoying thing isn't in fact the opinion, but that people think their opinion of your body matters so much they have to tell you.  

Whoever did that to you is a rude $@#$+&! You just need to ignore them, or be ready with a great answer, like "your momma borrowed my pants yesterday and stretched them out". They're obviously jealous of you for taking care of yourself. Some people are just HORRIBLE. I'm sorry they put you through that. 

That is extremely rude! I agree with Erq. Silence is golden and just know you are doing great! I hope you have other people in your life that give you the positive feedback you deserve!!💜👍 

you have to lose for you and no one else. People are jealous, because they can't do what you did. Just walk away without comment I've kept off almost 200lbs, survived the death of my spouse of 49 year, and full hip replacement. All the while keeping off 200lbs. Do it for you and let the nay-sayers go to hell.  

It sounds like the person is just jealous of you and trying to hate on you. 

That’s just plain nasty. But maybe it’s time to buy some new clothes, not to expensive because you’ll keep shrinking out of them. The next time that person says something ( if you want a comeback, say I guess yours are to tight to stretch out) 

I personally recommend ignoring silly comments. I think the most important thing on SNS is to treat the other person with respect. 

Yah. It’s called jealousy !!!! Lol. Pay no mind to people like that. Your doing a great job. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 

Some people are just downright nasty and rude and jealous. They have such low self esteem that they have to try to tear down others to make themselves feel better. Do not stoop to their level. Walk away unfazed and carry on with taking good care of yourself making sure you have real friends and family that love and respect you for who you are at what ever size you are! Well done!